I was at a gathering today where my wife is part of the organisation, where friends came and met up with each other with the usual warm recollection of their experience with the organisation. I have never felt so out of place, that my 40 years of life is but one big failure. Now, looking at what I have, I have wasted my life and I have absolutely nothing to thank God for. I have never felt more of a loser than ever and I will never ever amount to anything. I wish I can remain out of place and locked away in a quiet big room that I could see myself wasted away for good – that’s all to me and my life. I just hope my life ends fast so whatever my wife needs to do with her life, she is provided with all the resources to make a difference in this world.