12 dPut on then, as eGod’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, fcompassionate hearts, gkindness, hhumility, meekness, and patience, 13 hbearing with one another and, iif one has a complaint against another, gforgiving each other; gas the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.
Truly, the tugging of the heart in where it goes especially the direction of our lordship, be it our own or under the Lord is great evidenced in the area of able to forgive others. I have much to struggle with, especially in the area of forgiveness.
First, I struggle and still am, in forgiving the people I worked for previously, especially my immediate manager, whom I felt, was a person of no integrity and not trustworthy. To add on, on the manner of the episode with them that led to a certain hardship, that I lost that place of comfort, for I am certain, to an extent, could be my own doing, or something I need to learn as God allows it. Forgiving this person and the company I need to do especially so it is commanded. To hate, I am a hypocrite because of a few things, I am to love as commanded by God, and whether I lost the job or kept it, I trust in His sovereignty. He gave and He took, and it is all fair.
Second, is this particular youth that I had to deal with, and the actions and words were said, was particularly disappointing. I must say I wasn’t hurt because personally, I am glad he was out of my group because I cannot deal with a weasel who seeks to divide friends with vicious gossips. If a boy as young as he is, capable of doing this, he must be so lost and devious on the inside that I cannot in good conscience help him, and no I would not. I rather he leaves the group or the church entirely to his own wicked end. But that’s not what God wants and I know.
O Lord, I struggle to forgive others, maybe because I cannot forgive myself nor why would you bother to forgive me. Is there something even deeper that I need to deal with?