I never had any luck or fortune to bag anything like in a lucky draw or something; the more I learn about the doctrine of Election really get me thinking if I am a believer at all. After all, the fruits of a believer will show in his or her life especially in a character that has grown to be more Christ-like. Not in my case, in my life, especially after almost 10 years of marriage; there are wickedness, flaws, and shortfalls in my life that I will never be qualified for anything. Knowing that I may be just well a channel to fund Mercy’s ministry and thereafter popped i am off to hell. Am i walking along this huge wide road that i will never ever find that narrow road and all the epistemology that puffs up within me is just a veil of lies that I was never saved. Perhaps Mercy’s right, I am never a born-again Christian, just a fool thinking I was.